Define "chronic" masturbator.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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