what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
