I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
