My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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