I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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