the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I lost the right to judge tonight
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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