Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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