I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
