my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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