Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
