I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
