Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
