But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
wanna go halves on a baby?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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