I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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