its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
