If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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