Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
