the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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