you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
