i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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