I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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