Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
