'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
