Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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