she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
