was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
