the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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