glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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