Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
