doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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