ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
