The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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