god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
