Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
