I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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