ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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