So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
