Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my sisters under your porch take her home
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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