Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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