I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
