An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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