I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
