you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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