he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
