"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
why do cheetos always look like penises
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
