So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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