Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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