Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
