I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
