I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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