Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
